Seeing the bodies just lined up on the streets in Haiti on the television just absolutely kills me. Just knowing that these are people’s family members laying there, dead, in a pile. I know there is no way around this due to how poor their country is and how much chaos this disaster has caused but it just kills me. We don’t have much to donate, but we will give what we can. We will donate to UNICEF, who will you donate to? I know the news keeps reporting how much money the U.S. is sending, how much money they’ve raised via text messaging and how other countries are contributing as well but they will never have ENOUGH. More is needed and right now is a great time to do that good deed you’ve been wanting to do.
The word above describes how I feel right now for the people of Haiti. It seems so unfair that this is happening to people who have already been down on their luck for so many years. There are going to be thousands of lives lost and my heart is with every single one of the people who are there right now. I wanted to say more but that is all that keeps coming to mind. I’m devastated.
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A very good friend of mine is starting out the new year in a way that no one should ever have to. Her 8 month old nephew was found not breathing during his nap time at daycare yesterday. The staff tried CPR and called an ambulance. He was unable to breathe on his own so he was put on a ventilator and the doctors thought there was some brain damage but he wasn’t completely brain dead.
Well, this morning I got word that he was declared brain dead this morning. They just finished their final tests a little while ago and declared that there is nothing they can do to save poor baby Max. This is especially hard for them because my friend also has a 8 month old son. They’re sisters, they’re very close and they just happened to get pregnant at the same time. I hope baby Wyatt can bring her sister some joy through the years but I know at first it will be so difficult to be around him because it will bring back memories of Max.
Either way, this has hit me soo hard. I cannot stop crying. I can’t stop picturing this happening to us, to my little baby Zoey. I mourn the loss for their family. I cry because my heart aches for a Mama who just lost her little baby. I cry for a Grandmama who just lost a grandchild and for an Aunt who just lost a nephew. I cry for a little sister who just lost her baby brother and probably can’t fully understand the extent of the situation.
Last night around 5 AM Zoey’s Angel Care baby monitor went off (a baby monitor that monitors breathing). I have NEVER jumped up out of bed and ran as fast as I did last night. I was scared to DEATH. I got into Zoey’s room and her leg was hanging out of her crib.. I tucked her leg back in and straightened her up.. Checked her breathing.. Kissed her and stood there for a few minutes to make sure her breathing was normal. This was the first “false alarm” with this baby monitor that we’ve had in maybe 4 months. GREAT timing, let me tell you. It took me a long time to fall asleep after that because my mind was racing and I was laying in bed crying, thinking of poor Max and just hoping there would be a miracle and he would make it through this.
Tonight I am giving my little girl a thousand more kisses than usual. I’ll hold her a little tighter. I’ll think of Max and try to make sense of this whole thing.
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This month has flown by. I really cannot believe Christmas is on Friday. How does that happen?
This hasn’t been a very happy month. On Monday night our Carbon Monoxide detector went off around 2 AM or so. It was reading about 50. Gene would crack the door and the number would go down to zero. He’d close it and the heater would kick back on and it would go off and read 50. We cranked the heater way down so that it wouldn’t kick on and went back to bed. First thing Tuesday I began calling around to find someone to come look at our furnace. Someone came by to look at it, found some pretty bad cracks in the heat exchanger and gave me an estimate for around 4 mortgage payments to replace the furnace. We stayed the night at my parent’s house since the temps were going to dip down into the 20s that night. They came out the next morning at 10 AM and by 8 PM that night we had heat again. Spending that much money right now was not on our list of things to do, well, EVER honestly.. but what can you do? I am just thankful that we had a carbon monoxide detector and that we are ALIVE. Especially Zoey. A reading of 50 on a CM detector is HIGH for an infant :(
My mom’s dog (who is only 8) stopped eating a few weeks ago. He had been going to the vet to figure out what is going on. They thought it was a bad tooth and pulled 3 bad teeth and he still would not eat or get better. Finally took him to a specialty hospital where they did exploratory surgery and found a peach pit lodged in his intestines. They took it out, cut 4 inches of his intestines out and sewed him back up. He was doing well but needed a transfusion. Somehow over night last night he went down hill.. The infection spread into his stomach and blood stream and his entire body was septic. They put him down this morning. We got him as a little puppy back when I was still living at home. He was always a little sh*t dog.. but we loved him for that. He had personality and was a cuddle buddy to me when I lived there and to my sister after I moved out of the house. I don’t know what it is but whenever I think about him not being there any more, my heart feels heavy and my stomach drops. I am beyond sad about this and finding it hard to put my feelings into words :(
Things can only get better right? I mean, in the last 1 1/2 years my Grandma passed, my Grandpa passed and now my “brother dog” passed. Zoey has been our little ray of sunshine through all of the sadness we’ve experienced and we’re really hoping that things can only look up from here. Hopefully we can all laugh about all of the crazy things Toby used to do and remember what a sweet dog he was while still enjoying Christmas this year. It’s Zoey’s first, after all.
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Today has not been a good Napping Type Of Day, if ya know what I mean. She took a good 2 hour nap this morning and has been down for a good hour now but during both naps, she has woken up crying several times and I’ve had to shush her back to sleep. I don’t know if she is having some nightmares/terrors or what. Poor little baby!
I forgot to mention that Z has her first cold. Well, it’s not officially diagnosed by a PhD, just your typical Mother’s Intuition Diagnosis. She sounds like a loud purring kitten when she breathes. She will cough from time to time to clear it out of her throat. She had a little bit of a runny nose this morning but I haven’t seen anything since then. She seems to sleep well (silently, no congestion) after we put a cool mist humidifier in her room. She is acting mostly her normal, happy self so I don’t think she is miserable.
As far as food goes, she has been so great with eating solids. So far she has tried sweet potatoes, butternut squash, apples, carrots, peas, green beans and banana and has liked all of it. The green beans took a couple of days for her to get used to but everything else she has loved. She especially likes it when I mix the butternut squash with apples. I’ve started giving her some of those “puffs” cereal pieces to work on her fine motor skills.. She is starting to get the thumb & index finger “pincer” grab down.. But still has some trouble with it. I tried giving her some peas and carrots cut up really small and she likes those too. She grabs the peas and they just squish in her hands and then she has trouble getting it into her mouth so I put the pieces on a spoon and spoon feed them to her.
Otherwise, things are fine here. Today I am having trouble getting anything done because all I can think about is poor Anissa and her family :( If you pray, please pray and if you don’t, please send good vibes or whatever it is that you do. Anissa needs it right now and her family needs it as well. When tragic things happen to fellow bloggers the whole blogosphere pulls together to unite and bring strength to friends and family. It’s amazing and so beautiful. Thinking of you today Anissa.. My heart is heavy and I am sending so many well wishes to you and your family.
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The whole Virginia Tech thing is just ridiculous. The sadness is tremendous. I feel so awful for these people. The kids. Some of them just barely out of high school. But age doesn’t matter. They’re all innocent college students and professors. I can’t even really talk about it much because it just pisses me off. As usual the media is annoying me in every way possible with their constant bantering of these poor victims. I can’t stand to even watch it.
In other news, I have downloaded about 6 more WP themes and I can’t stand them, at all. I always end up back at this one. I need to just buck up and write my own theme. But that takes concentration and effort, two things I am lacking.
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I wish I had more to say but I don’t. These last few days have been pretty busy. My plan was to get Gene up on the roof this afternoon to take down our Christmas lights while the weather is nice but things changed quickly. We walked out of Kohls to the car and the sky was a dark, reddish brown color. Looked like dirt was being blown all over the place and it looked pretty creepy. What I imagine “Dooms day” to look like. Got home and found out that Oklahoma is burning! Crazyness.
So while at Kohls I got a slipcover for my sofa and my loveseat on sale and they are so beautiful. I put pictures up on my flickr website. So we put the slipcovers on and re-arranged the furniture in the living room and then we headed over to my parent’s house for New Year dinner :) Yum! Ham, potato casserole and salad. It was awesome. And now we are home relaxing a little bit. I have to go back into work tomorrow so I am trying to relax while I can. I plan on getting a shower and getting all warm and cozy in bed. Maybe watch some TV or something :)