Exhaustion is still going strong. Some days I get a nap in and some days I don’t. There are days where Zoey’s nap doesn’t coincide with my tiredness, so at some point I am letting her watch TV while I lay on the couch like a zombie.

I’d like to think that baby bean is doing just fine. I saw my doctor at 9 weeks, saw baby bean on ultrasound and everything looked great. However, I know 9 weeks is really early. And things can still happen. My next doctor’s appointment isn’t until September 10th, which marks 16 weeks. I am just hoping and thinking happy thoughts about baby bean until then. I’m probably going to get down on my knees and beg for an ultrasound that day. Luckily my OB is a great man and I am thinking he will comply? I hope!

My little Peanut had her 15 month check up this morning. She got two shots and it was pretty terrible! She has just started saying “Nooooo” the last week or so and so she showed off her refusal skillz to the doctor and nurse today by saying Nooooo every time they tried to do something like check her ears, get her head circumference, etc. She threw a wild fit when we laid her down to try to get her height, panicked when we set her down to be weighed, freaked the ef OUT when we tried to get her head circumference and lost her marbles when the doctor tried to look in her ears. You could very EASILY say we are on the cusp of seeing some new teeth sometime VERY soon.

Needless to say, I am letting her watch Toy Story right now. It is the only time she is SOMEWHAT quiet and entertained. She has been crying and whining constantly while playing with her toys, chewing on her fingers and slobbering all over the place! My poor girl is not feeling well at all. Thankfully, her sleeping habits haven’t (yet) been interrupted by the Teething Monster.

She is such a smart little cookie though. Last night at Grandma’s house, Grandpa gave her my car keys and so she spent quite a bit of time trying to hold the key just right in her hand so that she could stand on her tippy toes and try to stick the key into the keyhole on the front door! I couldn’t believe it.. I had never seen her do that before and didn’t even REALIZE she had been watching us lock and unlock the door all of this time. It just goes to show that they are constantly absorbing information into their little brains.

I have been so sick!! I had some mild nausea with Z but nothing like this. And not this early!! I have been pretty nauseated since I first found out, three weeks ago. The exhaustion hasn’t hit as hard as it did last time but boy the nausea and insomnia are in full gear already. Some days I do okay and others I have a hard time even taking care of Z. Luckily, she is a pretty easy child and will entertain herself with toys or a movie when I am feeling under the weather.

Going to meet a friend at Chelino’s today for lunch and then do a little window shopping at Ross. Hoping my stomach cooperates and lets me enjoy myself!

- My Daddy had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. He is ok and doing better. He is eating better, exercising and taking care of hisself. It was the scariest thing ever. As a kid, you feel as though your parent’s are invincible and then as you get older, you realize how fragile life really is but at the same time, it is hard to let go of that notion that Parents and Grandparents should be immortal!

- My Mama is having some medical trouble as well. I’m confident that everything will be ok as long as she takes care of herself and goes to her doctor appointments. If you pray, could you please say a prayer for her? If you don’t, you could send some happy vibes our way.. Either way, we need some good karma and positive thinking send towards our family!

- I am PREGNANT! Crazy, I know! Hah. I just found out recently and I am due February 25, 2011, which means I am only about 4 weeks along. I wont get to see my OB until July 23rd, which seems soooo far away. It is my first time seeing this guy and I can’t wait to meet him.. I’ve heard amazing things about him! I wish there was some way to fast forward through the first trimester. Between worrying about miscarriage and baby’s health and the nausea and exhaustion.. It really isn’t a pretty time at all!

I’m gonna try to get back into the bloggy swing of things here. I’ve been such a slacker lately. I have a 14 month old little girl to blame THAT on. Describing her as a hand full would be an understatement at times ;)

I got up and had a packet of Banana Bread Weight Control oatmeal, 1 C. of skim milk and 1 small banana around 6:15 AM. Here it is 8 AM and I just ate a 100 calorie english muffin with about 1 TBSP of peanut butter on it. And I am STILL wanting more food. I hate that!

I’ve gained a little bit of weight in this pregnancy, more than I “should” according to my doctor. She actually wanted me to lose weight during this pregnancy. Hah. Ooops. It’s not like I’ve been stuffing my face. And honestly, I have no idea where the weight gain is coming from. My diet really hasn’t changed at all over the last few months and for some reason every time I go in every 2 weeks, I have either maintained or gained 2-4lbs. Not sure what is up with that, honestly. And all I can do is just tell myself going into my appointments that she is going to complain to me about my weight gain and I can just sit there and ignore her.

The thing is, I KNOW I’ve gained weight. And I’m pretty sure it bothers me more than it bothers her. All I can do is set goals for myself after Zoey arrives and work hard to achieve them. I have big plans to get back on my diet after she is here and start exercising more.

Speaking of exercise, it has become really difficult to do. Even walking has become SO uncomfortable that I dread it. I’ve been carrying Zoey really low through this entire pregnancy and as she grows, it gets increasingly difficult to walk and feel comfortable. It hurts my hips and makes me feel like I have to empty my bladder after just 5 minutes of walking.

I’ve had no real complaints about being pregnant and I’ve enjoyed my special time with my daughter but I am honestly ready for her to be here. I am only 35 weeks today but I am to the point where I want her here so I can move on with my life, start losing some weight and feel comfortable doing normal things like walking again. I’m sure I’ll regret saying that in a year when she is having her first birthday party and I’m wondering where time went and start devising a plan to revert her to infancy.

One more side note that is more for me than for anyone else: We hate our doctor! She did something recently that is extremely private that I can’t really go into detail about but it is something that no doctor should ever do. Anyway, so Gene and I are sticking with her because we only have 3-5 weeks left of this to endure. It would be a huge mess to switch doctor’s this late in the game, especially since we have already paid her. Anyway, I trust her to deliver my baby safely and that is all that matters to us at this point. We’ll go see her once a week until the baby is here, which means I should only have to see her 6 more times at most, which includes delivery. It has definitely been a learning experience!

Tomorrow you will turn 34 Gestational Weeks old! I can’t believe we are in the home stretch now. It seems so unreal to me sometimes. I can’t wait to see what you look like and smell your sweet smell. You sure do move around in mama’s belly a lot and you really like when I eat.

We had two NSTs at the hospital again this week and they both went beautifully. So far all is great with you. We went to see the Perinatalogist on Monday to have our 33 week ultrasound and it went GREAT! They measured you at about 4lb 9oz and right on track for 33 weeks. The doctor even let us look at the blood traveling through the umbilical cord and all looked great there. They looked at your bladder, kidneys, liver, stomach, heart, etc. It is amazing to think that you are a little person in there! He said you had a lot of hair on your head and we were able to see you open/close your mouth a couple of times on the ultrasound. The only problem right now is that you are laying sideways and we really need you to get into the head down position! Mama wants to have you as naturally and safely as possibly. So sweet precious little girl, please for the love of all that is holy, TURN! Go towards the light!! :D

Daddy and I got all of your clothes, blankets, towels, hats, wash cloths, mittens, etc. washed up and put away this weekend. Right now I am washing the cloth diapers. They are only on their 2nd cycle and I need to wash them about 4-6 times to prepare them. We want to do what is best for you, the environment and our pocket book so we are going to cloth diaper you, hopefully, until potty training. Right now Daddy is setting up the speakers and mp3 player in your nursery so that we can listen to lullabyes and other music. I’m sure you already know all about your Daddy’s love of music by now :)

Mommy has been really sick with sinus stuff. Tuesday I came down with a bad sore throat and ever since I have been congested, feverish and just not feeling well at all. Luckily you are safe in there and don’t have to be exposed to all of these germs yet. I’m really ready to get better so I don’t have to feel tired on top of being sick every day.

This pregnancy is going great so far! I really can’t complain at all. By the end of the day my ankles truly ARE cankles! Sometimes I can’t even believe that they are able to swell to the proportions that they are swelling to. Amazing! But when I wake up in the morning, I have the skinniest, sexiest ankles out there. One other MAJOR discomfort that is starting to show up is lower pelvic pain. When I get up in the morning or stand up after sitting too long, the pain is sometimes really awful. All of the weight from my uterus pushes down on my pelvic bones and it just hurts really bad for a few minutes.

But I guess the main point is that you are SO worth it!! We are so in love with you and we haven’t even seen your face. We love you more than we thought possible. Only 5-6 more weeks until we get to meet you. Keep growing sweet baby and stay healthy for us.

Love Forever,
Mommy & Daddy

P.S. Your baby shower was last Saturday and we had such a wonderful time! I can’t wait to show you pictures whenever you get older. So many friends and family came to celebrate the expected arrival of you and I can already tell you are loved by so many.

On Tuesday, Mama & Daddy went to the hospital to have an NST done. An NST is a Non-Stress Test. They hooked Mama up to a belt that monitors contractions, a belt that monitors your heart rate, a blood pressure cuff and a rubber finger-thing-a-majig that monitors Mama’s heart rate as well. We laid around and your heart rate stayed at a steady 135 BPM. The reason they do this test is they want to see if your heart rate is “reactive” (goes up & down) whenever you move around in your little cave.

You weren’t moving much because it was 8 PM and you had just done most of your movement between 4 and 6 PM. I told Daddy to talk to you and so he began talking so quietly and sweetly to you and what do you know? You started wigglin’ around in there. It was so fun to hear/watch your heart rate go up whenever he would talk to you. Your heart rate would go up into the high 150s or low 160s whenever you would move a lot. I found it really neat to feel your movements and see your heart rate fluctuate at the same time. Sometimes when you would move a lot or push up into my right side, we could hear little blips on the heart monitor that indicated your movement. What a beautiful moment it was laying there with your Daddy and experiencing this. We were there for about an hour and it was wonderfully reassuring.

We’re going back to the hospital tonight to do this all over again. It may or may not take as long tonight if they aren’t too busy. I am really excited to hear your little heart beat again. The sound of it is something that I can’t really put into words. It’s beautiful, amazing, miraculous. It is a symphony to a Mother’s ears.

Well sweet baby, we cannot wait to meet you. We’ve got your room all ready to go. It is a precious room for a precious baby. We love you so much and cannot wait to see your sweet face and hear your lovely cries. Daddy likes to talk to you and whenever he does, you almost always wiggle around a few minutes later. Tomorrow we are going to a baby shower that Mama’s very good friend is throwing for you. We’re going to see a lot of friends and family that are coming to celebrate your life. You are such a lucky little lady to already be loved and cared for by so many.

Happy 32 Week Gestational Birthday my little girl. You’ll be 33 weeks on Monday. We’ll get to see you again on Ultrasound Monday morning and I absolutely cannot wait. It’s like looking through a little window to my soul whenever you pop up on the big screen TV in the ultrasound room. Something runs through my veins that is just unexplainable. A love that runs deeper than anything I ever thought imaginable.

Love Forever,
Mama

P.S. I know how much you like cake so I just wanted to say that I promise I will eat some cake on Saturday. I would do anything in the world to make you happy, even if that means indulging in some sweet, delicious dessert ;)

My doctor has scheduled me to go for Non Stress Tests twice weekly until I deliver. I’m a little annoyed by this because as of my last ultrasound nothing was wrong with the baby so I don’t understand why I have to go this often. Also, these things are going to cost us out the wazoo! Yes, I have insurance but insurance will only cover so much. And going twice a week adds up fast! Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem spending money if it is going to affect the well being of our child but what I do have a problem is going to do these tests without knowing why. It makes me feel like my doctor is just trying to make some money.

Either way, after talking to my OBGYN’s office today I’ve felt really down in the dumps. I’ve tried to cheer myself up but all I can do is worry. Constant worrying about whether my baby is going to be okay. I guess I am finally to the point where I just want her out of me and in my arms so that I know she is okay. So that I can see her and feel her and know for sure that she is okay. Only then will I truly feel like everything has worked out and all is well.

A lot of women really like my OBGYN. We’ve looked her up online and found great reviews about her. I’m wondering if maybe I’m just having a bad experience because I am overweight and I have GD. No one has EVER explained to us why we need to have these NST tests done and why so frequently. No one has discussed the possibility of an early induction, though today when talking to her nurse she mentioned I would be induced between 38 and 39 weeks? Oh really? Why was this NEVER discussed with me but somehow they already have a plan? This is the kind of crap that just annoys me.

Anyway, so today I am really grumpy. My mom took me and my sister out to lunch and it was really nice. It was good to see them and just be us girls. I thought that would do the trick but it hasn’t. I just want to go home and go on a walk with Gene. And I want to clean my house. And that’s all. I may even try to upload some nursery pictures this evening. I want to feel productive and like I have something to be happy about. I know I have a LOT to be thankful for but when you start feeling down in the dumps, it is really easy to overlook those things.

All this boils down to me worrying about little Zoey. I just want her to be okay and healthy.

After slowly elminating names each week and doing a lot of role playing with a brown stuffed bear named Nick, it came down to a tight race between the names Skye and Zoey. Skye began to grow on me but Zoey was always sticking out in my head from day one. On my morning drive to work and my evening drive home, I would call the baby Skye or Zoey as I talked to her and Zoey just seemed to come naturally to me after a while.

So Zoey it is! This sweet little baby girl’s name will be Zoey Elise. I can’t even express how much of a huge relief it is to have that little (uh, major?) detail out of the way. It also feels good to call her by a name instead of just baby now.

This weekend we shampood the carpet in the nursery (with our new Hoover SteamVac that is AWESOME, by the way!) and then put the crib together and moved all of the baby furniture in there. I washed up all of the bedding (bumper, comforter, sheets, mattress protectors) and got the crib set up and the mobile put on. It is PRECIOUS beyond words!!

At Target on Saturday I found some Classic Pooh appliques for the walls I snatched those. We got a curtain rod but it is the wrong size. I’m gonna get a new one this week and I’m hoping to have the appliques and curtain rod up before the end of the week. I also need to get a bed skirt for the twin sized bed that is in that room as well. Oooh we are getting so close to having that room done and it feels fantastic! I will try to take a lot of pictures later this week or this weekend.

All is going swimmingly (he he, are you proud of me Gene?) with the pregnancy. Baby moves a lot more than before. Still waiting for that great day when Gene will be able to finally feel her move from the outside. I have felt it a couple times but it is sooo hard to catch it at the right time.

Only about 9 more weeks until my due date! I keep telling this little munchkin that she can come sometime after April 20th when I am considering “full term” hee hee :) My sister graduates high school on May 16th and I am worried that I’m going to miss it and I really don’t want to! But I guess right now is a good time to start learning how to let go of all control I have over my life and the events that happen in it because sometime in the next 9 weeks or so, there is going to be a little boogerface that will be controlling my life!

• That it’s MARCH! Where in the world did February go??
• That I am now 30 weeks pregnant. It feels like I can finally “see” the finish line. Like it is within’ reach.
• That we got the nursery painted! This is real!
• That my little sister is going to turn 18 in 8 days!
• That my little sister is graduating HIGH SCHOOL in May!
• That Gene and I are going to be parents soon. And my parents are going to be GRANDPARENTS.
• That we are quickly approaching our FIRST wedding anniversary! Has it already been a year?
• So many people are having babies this year. I’ve been to 3 baby showers since January and I know of a few people who are currently pregnant as well. Is the water tainted or what??
• That my Aunt (Mom’s sister) is due the day before me with her 3rd!
• That it has been almost 7 months since my Grandma passed away :( I miss her so much. And I am so sad she will never get to meet her great granddaughter.
• I only have about 2 1/2 months left of working! I am soo excited to be a stay at home mommy to take care of our little munchkin.
• We have our baby name list down to 3! We’re getting there.

Tonight we are going to Mom’s house for dinner and then going on a walk. After that? Who knows. Gene and I ordered a Hoover SteamVac online and I’m waiting for that to come in so I can shampoo the carpet in the nursery really well. I am going to wash down the baseboards and we need to put window film over the window in there (that window has awful insulation!). After that we can take these humongous boxes out of our living room and move the furniture in. I am sooo excited, I can’t wait to see all of that put together in her room!

Listen to me, “Her Room” ? This really is real, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel like I need to be pinched to even realize how real this is. And then the baby moves and I stop and wonder if it’s gas. And then I realize that it isn’t gas, it is in fact the baby moving. And yep, it is pretty darn real!