Category Archives: Letters

Dear Grandma

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Last night we put Zoey down around 11:45 and she didn’t wake me up until 3 AM. It was glorious to get 3 solid hours of sleep! I put her back down around 4 and she was up at 6:30. I fed her at 7 and she was up again at 8:30. I picked her up and cuddled her in bed and we both slept soundly until about 10 when I awoke to her being fidgety.

At 3 AM, I was wide awake. When I put her down around 3:45, I laid in bed for a good 20 minutes, wide awake, not able to fall asleep. I was thinking about Grandma and my heart was heavy. I constructed a mental letter to Grandma. It talked about how much I miss her. I was telling her that Gene and I finally got married (she was alive when we got married but not coherent). I told her how I knew she would be so happy that we finally got married after all of those years of living in sin. I told her about how we conceived her first great grand-child the week that she passed away. I thanked her for that little miracle because I just knew she had something to do with it. I told her about how Zoey was born the day after my birthday and how she is so beautiful. About how I wished there was some way she could have met her because I just know she would have loved Zoey to pieces.

I finally fell asleep and proceeded to dream of Grandma and Zoey meeting. It was lovely. Probably one of the first times ever that I’ve had a relevant dream without any odd people showing up in it. Grandma, I love you and miss you so much :(

I really wish Gene and I could have gotten married sooner and yeah I would have loved to have had our first child a few years ago but in hindsight, I know that waiting was the best thing for us. We had time for Gene to graduate college and get a job, for us to buy our first home and to feel emotionally, physically and financially ready for growing up. We got married 10 years after we became a couple and had a baby 11 years after. The only regret I have is that my Grandma wasn’t able to see me get married, let alone meet her first great grand-child.

Well, tomorrow morning I am dropping the dogs off at the kennel and we are heading to Grandpa’s house. We’ll stay until Monday and then head to the park where we have our annual “family re-union” of sorts. Its our first trip out of town for a couple of nights with the baby. I’ve got a small carry-on suitecase full of tiny shirts, pants, onesies, gowns, socks and hats. It has plenty of receiving blankets and diapers. Gene will load the pack n play and the bouncy chair in the car tonight. We’ll pack our bag this evening and hopefully can make it to Miami (Oklahoma, not Florida) by 3 at the latest. It’s a 3 hour drive, so I am hoping to feed Zoey when we leave and hoping she will make the whole drive.

A Letter To Zoey: 33 Weeks Pregnant

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Dear Zoey,

Tomorrow you will turn 34 Gestational Weeks old! I can’t believe we are in the home stretch now. It seems so unreal to me sometimes. I can’t wait to see what you look like and smell your sweet smell. You sure do move around in mama’s belly a lot and you really like when I eat.

We had two NSTs at the hospital again this week and they both went beautifully. So far all is great with you. We went to see the Perinatalogist on Monday to have our 33 week ultrasound and it went GREAT! They measured you at about 4lb 9oz and right on track for 33 weeks. The doctor even let us look at the blood traveling through the umbilical cord and all looked great there. They looked at your bladder, kidneys, liver, stomach, heart, etc. It is amazing to think that you are a little person in there! He said you had a lot of hair on your head and we were able to see you open/close your mouth a couple of times on the ultrasound. The only problem right now is that you are laying sideways and we really need you to get into the head down position! Mama wants to have you as naturally and safely as possibly. So sweet precious little girl, please for the love of all that is holy, TURN! Go towards the light!! :D

Daddy and I got all of your clothes, blankets, towels, hats, wash cloths, mittens, etc. washed up and put away this weekend. Right now I am washing the cloth diapers. They are only on their 2nd cycle and I need to wash them about 4-6 times to prepare them. We want to do what is best for you, the environment and our pocket book so we are going to cloth diaper you, hopefully, until potty training. Right now Daddy is setting up the speakers and mp3 player in your nursery so that we can listen to lullabyes and other music. I’m sure you already know all about your Daddy’s love of music by now :)

Mommy has been really sick with sinus stuff. Tuesday I came down with a bad sore throat and ever since I have been congested, feverish and just not feeling well at all. Luckily you are safe in there and don’t have to be exposed to all of these germs yet. I’m really ready to get better so I don’t have to feel tired on top of being sick every day.

This pregnancy is going great so far! I really can’t complain at all. By the end of the day my ankles truly ARE cankles! Sometimes I can’t even believe that they are able to swell to the proportions that they are swelling to. Amazing! But when I wake up in the morning, I have the skinniest, sexiest ankles out there. One other MAJOR discomfort that is starting to show up is lower pelvic pain. When I get up in the morning or stand up after sitting too long, the pain is sometimes really awful. All of the weight from my uterus pushes down on my pelvic bones and it just hurts really bad for a few minutes.

But I guess the main point is that you are SO worth it!! We are so in love with you and we haven’t even seen your face. We love you more than we thought possible. Only 5-6 more weeks until we get to meet you. Keep growing sweet baby and stay healthy for us.

Love Forever,
Mommy & Daddy

P.S. Your baby shower was last Saturday and we had such a wonderful time! I can’t wait to show you pictures whenever you get older. So many friends and family came to celebrate the expected arrival of you and I can already tell you are loved by so many.

A Letter To Zoey: 32 Weeks Pregnant

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Dear Zoey,

On Tuesday, Mama & Daddy went to the hospital to have an NST done. An NST is a Non-Stress Test. They hooked Mama up to a belt that monitors contractions, a belt that monitors your heart rate, a blood pressure cuff and a rubber finger-thing-a-majig that monitors Mama’s heart rate as well. We laid around and your heart rate stayed at a steady 135 BPM. The reason they do this test is they want to see if your heart rate is “reactive” (goes up & down) whenever you move around in your little cave.

You weren’t moving much because it was 8 PM and you had just done most of your movement between 4 and 6 PM. I told Daddy to talk to you and so he began talking so quietly and sweetly to you and what do you know? You started wigglin’ around in there. It was so fun to hear/watch your heart rate go up whenever he would talk to you. Your heart rate would go up into the high 150s or low 160s whenever you would move a lot. I found it really neat to feel your movements and see your heart rate fluctuate at the same time. Sometimes when you would move a lot or push up into my right side, we could hear little blips on the heart monitor that indicated your movement. What a beautiful moment it was laying there with your Daddy and experiencing this. We were there for about an hour and it was wonderfully reassuring.

We’re going back to the hospital tonight to do this all over again. It may or may not take as long tonight if they aren’t too busy. I am really excited to hear your little heart beat again. The sound of it is something that I can’t really put into words. It’s beautiful, amazing, miraculous. It is a symphony to a Mother’s ears.

Well sweet baby, we cannot wait to meet you. We’ve got your room all ready to go. It is a precious room for a precious baby. We love you so much and cannot wait to see your sweet face and hear your lovely cries. Daddy likes to talk to you and whenever he does, you almost always wiggle around a few minutes later. Tomorrow we are going to a baby shower that Mama’s very good friend is throwing for you. We’re going to see a lot of friends and family that are coming to celebrate your life. You are such a lucky little lady to already be loved and cared for by so many.

Happy 32 Week Gestational Birthday my little girl. You’ll be 33 weeks on Monday. We’ll get to see you again on Ultrasound Monday morning and I absolutely cannot wait. It’s like looking through a little window to my soul whenever you pop up on the big screen TV in the ultrasound room. Something runs through my veins that is just unexplainable. A love that runs deeper than anything I ever thought imaginable.

Love Forever,
Mama

P.S. I know how much you like cake so I just wanted to say that I promise I will eat some cake on Saturday. I would do anything in the world to make you happy, even if that means indulging in some sweet, delicious dessert ;)