Category Archives: Family

A quick list

Posted on by
1

A quick list before my little peanut wakes up.

  • Grandpa’s funeral was beautiful. I finally got to grieve for him on Friday. Missing him a lot.
  • Zoey had another screaming spell last night for a good 2-3 hours. It was rough. I’m taking her to the doctor today. We ended up giving her a suppository and she was able to go poop and feel better.
  • We were out of town for an entire week and boy it feels good to be back home.
  • It is emotionally exhausting having to clean out Grandma & Grandpa’s house. It’s like you’re throwing away or giving away so many memories. It’s hard not to take absolutely everything for the sole purpose of remembrance. It feels like closing a huge chapter of my life :(
  • Going back there to pick up furniture in a couple of weeks.
  • Gene and I are going to California to visit his parents the first week of September. I’m soo excited!

I’ll write more later. I wanna do a tribute to Grandpa. And I need to download pictures off of the camera. Just give me a week.. or two.. or a few months.

Bath Time & Grandpa’s Passing

Posted on by
2

The Grin

Bath time is quickly becoming a fun, fun time for us. Zoey is beginning to enjoy baths a lot more than she did before. She still loathes having her hair washed but we usually save that for last. She absolutely despises having her face washed and having water poured on her face. She’ll understand the importance of washing her face sometime when she hits about 15 or 16 years old.

Gene has given her the last couple of baths. I think bath time is a good time for Daddy and baby to bond. I took some pictures over the weekend when Gene gave her a bath and I got a half-grin out of her. She is becoming so much more fun now that she is smiling and you can really tell she sees us. She is following our movements and focusing on our faces and objects. Sometimes Astro will be standing near by and she will be looking up at him from her bouncy seat and when he walks around her eyes follow him.

This morning he was standing above her and dipped his head down and was sniffing her face. She was just staring wide eyed at him and when he was sniffing her really close she just started giving him these big, wide grins and smiles. It was sooo adorable! I wish I could have my camera ready and just take pictures of every single moment like that.

Well, I haven’t talked about it much because I haven’t even really had time to grieve or let it set in but my Grandpa passed away on Saturday afternoon. I’m rushing around this morning, packing and trying to get our things ready so when Gene gets home from work we can get out of here. We’re driving up to Miami, OK and the funeral is tomorrow morning. I wanna stay the whole week but Gene needs to be at work. I may come home Wednesday and then go back on Friday evening and stay the rest of the weekend. Not sure yet, though. Grandpa was in so much pain and I am sooo glad that he is no longer hurting. It’s not fair for him to be in pain like he was. It shouldn’t have to be that way. I’m hoping to write up tribute to Grandpa like I did to Grandma in August. My relationship with my Grandpa was very different than the one I had with Grandma. I’ll touch on that later, though.

A rundown of things

Posted on by
3

Zoey went down about 20 minutes ago. She ate a good 5 1/2 to 6 oz so I’m hoping she’ll sleep for a while. Of course, I am wide awake. I’m sleepy but I feel wired so I don’t think I’d be able to sleep, even if I tried. Looks like I’m going to be napping with the baby tomorrow.

I was going to mention a couple of things quickly without going into too much detail. My Mom and Dad are leaving for Florida tomorrow. It’s a work related trip for my Dad but they wont be back until Wednesday and I think it is mostly just for leisure. The work part is mostly an excuse. I’m really happy that my Mom is getting to go because this is the first time she’ll have been on a plane in about 16-18 years and also the first real “vacation” she has been on with my Dad. They never even had a honeymoon!

Also, my Grandpa is still in the hospital. Not sure what all is going on with that but he’s not doing really great. So if you pray, please pray for him and if all you do is think happy thoughts, please send some telepathically to him. Anything is appreciated at this point.

I really want to write up a post going into detail about our cloth diaper adventure. It has been so great and I just love them so much. The first day was difficult. There was a lot of “doubt” in the first day of it. But I knew I just needed to stick with it and it would get easier with time and I can’t believe how easy it’s been so far. Plus, I knew I had already invested quite a bit of cash into the whole thing and would be sorely disappointed if I didn’t stick with it. I’ll try to write one up tomorrow about it all. I know, my blog is SO interesting. Gag.

As far as Zoey goes, she is 7 weeks old as of Tuesday and doing so wonderful. Her tummy is finally settling well and she is doing GREAT on her new formula. She’s been on Earth’s Best Organic for over 2 weeks now and she no longer seems to have many tummy troubles. Today I was goo-gooing and gaa-gaaing and giggling and making some pretty ridiculous noises at her and she gave me the biggest and longest smile I’ve seen yet! It about killed me it was so adorable. I don’t think I’ve felt my heart swell that much since the day she was born. I love this kid to pieces. I can’t even believe that she is mine sometimes. It feels too good to be true!

No Surgery!

Posted on by
1

6 Weeks Old

So my doctor called (after I called them) and my HIDA scan results were normal. As happy as I am to hear that and know that it looks like I wont be needing any surgery, I am a little bummed because it leaves me in the dark about what actually happened. It could have been the Ecoli and they told me to go ahead and keep taking my antibiotics and eating a tame diet for the next 2 or 3 weeks. I guess we’ll just play it by ear and see if any of that pain comes back again. If it does, at least I have some hydrocodone on hand to help with the pain.

In other news, today was a very trying day for this new Mommy. Zoey would not get comfortable and was fussy most of the day. I pretty much had her in my arms the entire day and by around 5 PM I was really wanting Gene home. We both laid down in the bed around 6 PM and we slept until about 8:30. Gene got home sometime around 6:30. He has been taking care of her since we got up this evening. I’m tired and hoping that he will take the night time duty tonight so I can get some rest.

I was so exhausted by about 5 PM that Zoey and I both just cried and cried for a good 20 minutes. Well, I cried for a solid 45 minutes but she only cried off and on for about 20 minutes. I just held her close and rocked her and cried. I just didn’t know what else to do to make her stop being so fussy and I was so tired that I just couldn’t hold back anymore. I’m sure a lot of this has to do with the fact that I just started my first period since she was born and it is a vicious one. The pain is full throttle and I’ve been having to take extra strength Tylenol around the clock. Thinking I need to get back on the pill soon to tame this beast.

Mom told me my Grandpa was taken to the hospital via ambulance this evening. A neighbor went to check on him and found him slumped over in his chair due to low blood sugar. The paramedics were able to get his sugar up and get him somewhat coherent but they are admitting him into the hospital tonight. Also, he fell and cut himself and couldn’t get it to stop bleeding (he is on blood thinners) but luckily the neighbor helped him bandage it up. Oh and the neighbor found him on his riding lawn mower and he couldn’t get off so the neighbor had to help him with that too. It really stinks that he is so far away (3 hour drive) from us. I wish we lived closer so that I could go check on him several times a week. I miss him a lot and had a good time being there over the weekend. It seems like it is always something lately!

Anyway, that is all for tonight. Hoping to have a mild weekend. We’ll see.

Dear Grandma

Posted on by
1

DSC_0161

Last night we put Zoey down around 11:45 and she didn’t wake me up until 3 AM. It was glorious to get 3 solid hours of sleep! I put her back down around 4 and she was up at 6:30. I fed her at 7 and she was up again at 8:30. I picked her up and cuddled her in bed and we both slept soundly until about 10 when I awoke to her being fidgety.

At 3 AM, I was wide awake. When I put her down around 3:45, I laid in bed for a good 20 minutes, wide awake, not able to fall asleep. I was thinking about Grandma and my heart was heavy. I constructed a mental letter to Grandma. It talked about how much I miss her. I was telling her that Gene and I finally got married (she was alive when we got married but not coherent). I told her how I knew she would be so happy that we finally got married after all of those years of living in sin. I told her about how we conceived her first great grand-child the week that she passed away. I thanked her for that little miracle because I just knew she had something to do with it. I told her about how Zoey was born the day after my birthday and how she is so beautiful. About how I wished there was some way she could have met her because I just know she would have loved Zoey to pieces.

I finally fell asleep and proceeded to dream of Grandma and Zoey meeting. It was lovely. Probably one of the first times ever that I’ve had a relevant dream without any odd people showing up in it. Grandma, I love you and miss you so much :(

I really wish Gene and I could have gotten married sooner and yeah I would have loved to have had our first child a few years ago but in hindsight, I know that waiting was the best thing for us. We had time for Gene to graduate college and get a job, for us to buy our first home and to feel emotionally, physically and financially ready for growing up. We got married 10 years after we became a couple and had a baby 11 years after. The only regret I have is that my Grandma wasn’t able to see me get married, let alone meet her first great grand-child.

Well, tomorrow morning I am dropping the dogs off at the kennel and we are heading to Grandpa’s house. We’ll stay until Monday and then head to the park where we have our annual “family re-union” of sorts. Its our first trip out of town for a couple of nights with the baby. I’ve got a small carry-on suitecase full of tiny shirts, pants, onesies, gowns, socks and hats. It has plenty of receiving blankets and diapers. Gene will load the pack n play and the bouncy chair in the car tonight. We’ll pack our bag this evening and hopefully can make it to Miami (Oklahoma, not Florida) by 3 at the latest. It’s a 3 hour drive, so I am hoping to feed Zoey when we leave and hoping she will make the whole drive.

Mommy Emotions

Posted on by
2

Ok, we can be friends.

So last night was a little rough. Zoey has been really fussy lately and I think it’s gas related. We’ve been in the same ol’ formula battle. Wondering if it’s the formula or if it’s a weak digestive track. It’s hard to tell. This morning she was pretty fussy but not too awful. This afternoon she was much better but at one point she just kept crying out while she was laying/sleeping in her bouncy chair and I finally just broke down bawling my eyes out.

I cried and bounced her and told her I just didn’t know what to do but that whenever she was hurting so was Mommy. I picked her up and held her close to me and kissed her and snuggled her and she eventually went to sleep, peacefully. While I was sitting there I realized my overflow of emotions was partially related to her being so fussy but also I was a little disappointed in myself. I set these high expectations of getting the house clean and making dinner and doing all of these wonderful things since I no longer had to work but I hadn’t been getting them done and felt like a huge failure. I realized at that moment that maybe my expectations were just a little too far out there for right now. That maybe, since I am only 3 weeks postpartum, I should stick with the small things I’ve been doing like laundry and dishes and of course, taking care of Zoey. I realized right now I just need to focus on Zoey and the rest can wait. We can eat sandwiches until I can get my stuff together and have time and patience to cook a real meal. After making this realization, I felt sooo much better and so much more at peace with everything. I then fed her and we took a lovely 2 hour nap in the bed together. She laid in my arms and we snoozed so peacefully. It couldn’t have been more perfect!

And since Mother’s Day is coming up soon and it is my first, I thought I’d comment on something that happened recently that totally made me feel like a real Mom. Yesterday we went to the mall and got our hair cut and I kept saying I needed to take a shower after we got home because I had little tidbits of hair all over me, which was in turn getting all over the baby and everything I touched. However, since I was so busy I never got around to taking one. The thing is, before we even left for the mall I was projectile vomited on by the sweet little angel baby. I mean, everywhere. And guess when I finally took a shower? Around 9 PM tonight, hah. Nice, right? I spent the entire day with projectile vomit residue all over my chest and tiny hair tidbits all over me and stinky armpits. And honestly, as I realized all of this, I just had to have a big ol’ smile because this is what motherhood is. And I am totally ok with that. It actually made me a little happy to know that I can finally relate to all of those mommies out there who talk about those sacred showers that seem to be so few and far between. I guess I’ve officially joined the Mommy’s club.

In non-Zoey related news, I would like to announce that my aunt had her baby yesterday morning! She was due the day before me but had been measuring a little ahead throughout her entire pregnancy. She had a beautiful baby girl weighing in at just over 8lbs and her name is Addisyn Ann. They live in Illinois so I am bummed that I can’t hold her or meet her yet but hopefully that time will come soon enough. I’m so happy for them!

Formula Woes

Posted on by
1

Zoey & Mommy Snoozin

Yesterday we cleaned up our bedroom and got the furniture moved so that we could move the co-sleeper in there next to my side of the bed. You know what this means right? It means that I got to sleep in my own bed, next to my husband, laying flat, with pillows and warm blankets, for the first time in almost 3 weeks! It was amazing. Purely amazing!

I laid down sometime around 11ish and I think I got up around 1 to feed Zoey. I think I got up again at almost 3 to feed her again and didn’t get back to sleep until almost 4. Gene got up with her around 6 to feed her and I fed her again around 8:30. I laid her back down at 9:30 and she slept until about 1:30. It wasn’t THAT bad but it was stressful because she is having some really bad gas issues. She will SCREAM out and turn bright red and it seems like maybe she is trying to push a bowel movement through but having trouble. The weird thing is that it isn’t happening with every single feed.. It is only happening about once in the middle of the night and maybe once during the day time hours. It makes me feel so awful for her. Last night I sat on the couch rubbing her back and crying at 3 AM.

Gene is going to pick up a different formula at the store today and we’re going to start transitioning her to see if we can figure out if it’s the formula or what. I just don’t think it’s normal for her to be struggling that much, even if it’s not ALL the time. This little girl has both of us wrapped around her finger. We’re both so in love with her and it just pains us so much to see her in pain or to struggle at all.

In non-baby related news, my Grandpa is in the hospital. He is having some heart and kidney troubles. It really makes me sad. It breaks my heart because since Grandma is no longer with us, he is alone. He is in the hospital right now, hoping to be released on Monday. But he is alone in the hospital! I can’t even imagine being sick and being in the hospital, all alone. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. If we didn’t have Zoey already, I would be up there with him. I just can’t bring myself to travel with her when she is so young.

Well, I better get off the computer now. I need to figure out what I want for dinner so I can send Gene out to the store and to pick something up. Neither one of us got out of bed until around noon today, so it feels weird to already be eating dinner.