Monthly Archives: January 2010

The worst night we’ve had since birth!

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I just wanted to document this so I don’t forget.. Or maybe I do want to forget it? Depends on how ya look at it I guess.

So last night was not fun, to say the least. The previous night I only got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep so I was already exhausted and this is where Zoey decided it would be the perfect time to challenge us a little. She figured she has been making this parenting thing a little too easy for us. She really likes to keep us on our toes, ya know?

11:00 – Lay down in bed

11:30 – Baby screaming. Go in and try to soothe her. Not working. Pick her up and rock her until she falls asleep.

12:00 – Baby screaming. Go in and pick her up and rock her.

12:30 – More of the same.

1:30 – Baby screaming. Go in and pick her up and rock her.

2:00 – Baby screaming. Go in and pick her up and rock her.

2:30 – More of the same.

3:00 – Go in and pick her up and rock her. She is wide awake. Give her some Tylenol. She is NOT wanting to go back to sleep at this point. It takes me forever. I finally lay her down while she is wide awake and tip toe out of the room.

3:30 – Screaming again. Go back in there and soothe her back to sleep with a pacifier.

4:00 – Wake Gene up and tell him to go get her because I was DONE for the night. I was so exhausted from the previous night that when I got up with her at 3:30 I felt wobbly and my eyes were hurting so bad that I wanted to cry. My patience were running low due to how horrible I felt so I needed him to take over. He said she stayed up for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours and he fed her and changed her diaper.

It is 9:45 AM right now and she has been crying on and off since 8. She will cry out, not scream, just a cry.. and then it will go quiet and be quiet for a few minutes. Rinse and repeat. I have NO idea what the deal is. My only guess is either teething or night terrors. It’s hard to tell when they can’t really tell you what is up.

I am hoping to somehow get some motivation to get stuff done today. I have lots of laundry and dishes that need to be done.

Donate now!!

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Seeing the bodies just lined up on the streets in Haiti on the television just absolutely kills me. Just knowing that these are people’s family members laying there, dead, in a pile. I know there is no way around this due to how poor their country is and how much chaos this disaster has caused but it just kills me. We don’t have much to donate, but we will give what we can. We will donate to UNICEF, who will you donate to? I know the news keeps reporting how much money the U.S. is sending, how much money they’ve raised via text messaging and how other countries are contributing as well but they will never have ENOUGH. More is needed and right now is a great time to do that good deed you’ve been wanting to do.

Devastated

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The word above describes how I feel right now for the people of Haiti. It seems so unfair that this is happening to people who have already been down on their luck for so many years. There are going to be thousands of lives lost and my heart is with every single one of the people who are there right now. I wanted to say more but that is all that keeps coming to mind. I’m devastated.

Getting reacquainted

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Today I decided a little “me” time was in order so I ran a couple of errands solo. I ran to the fabric store to get a few things and then I ran to Walmart. I got some popcorn chicken and some King’s Hawaiian rolls and sat in the Subway that is inside of Walmart and had a quiet little lunch all by my lonesome. It was nice but it made me realize that I am a social butterfly. I love having lunch with a good friend, with my daughter or with my husband.

I got my eyebrows waxed and then walked over to the birthday party section of the store. I browsed, just thinking about Zoey’s upcoming first birthday (still a few months away, but never too early to start looking!) and out of nowhere I started thinking about Fran, Micah, Dani and poor little Max. Max (who I previously wrote about here) was laid to rest today and they were on my mind all day. I started crying right there in Walmart, just thinking about how baby Max isn’t going to experience a first birthday, he isn’t going to get to eat cake and rub it in his hair. Life just isn’t fair.

I wrapped my shopping up at that point because I got really depressed. Came home and saw Zoey crawl for the very first time! I immediately got to work on my sewing machine and sewed Zoey two taggie blankets. One is flannel with minky on the back and the other is flannel with fleece on the back.

Well, I better run.. Got a grumpy little peanut. It’s 10 PM and she is a very sleepy little girl.

Me Time

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In need of some serious Me time. I think tomorrow morning I am going to let Gene hang out with Zoey while I run to the fabric store and go get my eyebrows waxed. I think tonight hubby and I are going to play some Mario on the Wii and just hang out. Hoping Zoey doesn’t wake up crying as much as she did last night. It was awful.. We could not console her. I am guessing it was night terrors? I just held her close and rocked her and cried with her.

Annual Goals

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Here is a quick list of things I’m hoping to accomplish in 2010…

  • Be more frugal! Live a simpler life. Get rid of “junk” and excess. Keep what I need and what has real sentimental value and donate / sell the rest. Clutter is my nemesis and I will defeat it this year! Also wanting to stick to our budget and try to put money into savings.
  • Get reacquainted with my sewing machine. I’d like to start sewing a few things and get better at it. I wouldn’t mind setting up an Etsy shop and selling a few goodies. I would really like to try sewing some cloth diapers, cloth wipes and hot/cold packs.
  • Write in my blog more often. I have a tendency to hold off on blog posts until I think I have something worthwhile to post or something witty to say. I want to bring back the mundane every-day posts, even if they are only a few sentences long. These are the little things that I want to look back on and I have really lost sight of why I even started blogging in the first place.
  • Eat healthy.. Of course! This is the one everyone always chooses and then most people drop off the band wagon a couple weeks into the year. I really want to eat better and exercise a little more. All of these yummy indulgences that we have these days weren’t readily available 50 or 60 years ago like they are today.. and I would like to get back to those simpler times. I have a feeling that the best way for me to do this is to eliminate sugar from my diet. I think sugar is the culprit of the cravings that I endure and give in to on a daily basis. I am trying to work on this and also figure out a frugal way to diet. Diet foods are sooo expensive. My favorite low calorie bread is $3.00 for a small loaf.. When you can get a huge white loaf of bread for $1.10! I’ll never understand why this country makes it so hard for people to afford to eat healthy and then complain all of the time about how the obesity rate is alarmingly high.
  • Go on more dates with hubby and let someone babysit Zoey more. She will be 9 months old in a week and she has only ever been away from us for a few hours at a time and only a couple of times total. I’m worried that she is going to get too attached to us and then cry whenever we leave her. Luckily, she loves her Grandma and Grandpa here so I don’t think she’ll have any problem with them watching her, ever. Gene and I really need to put more effort than we used to have to into our relationship and I think we need to schedule monthly dates where we go see a movie and to dinner. I’m hoping we can make this happen in 2010! We’ve neglected our relationship on Zoey’s behalf over the last 9 months, unknowingly of course.
  • Send cards!! I am soooo awful at sending birthday / holiday cards to family and friends. My goal this year is to send more cards to people. A card means SO much and can say so much.

    • That is all I can think about right now. I’m sure there is more.

Losing a little one

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A very good friend of mine is starting out the new year in a way that no one should ever have to. Her 8 month old nephew was found not breathing during his nap time at daycare yesterday. The staff tried CPR and called an ambulance. He was unable to breathe on his own so he was put on a ventilator and the doctors thought there was some brain damage but he wasn’t completely brain dead.

Well, this morning I got word that he was declared brain dead this morning. They just finished their final tests a little while ago and declared that there is nothing they can do to save poor baby Max. This is especially hard for them because my friend also has a 8 month old son. They’re sisters, they’re very close and they just happened to get pregnant at the same time. I hope baby Wyatt can bring her sister some joy through the years but I know at first it will be so difficult to be around him because it will bring back memories of Max.

Either way, this has hit me soo hard. I cannot stop crying. I can’t stop picturing this happening to us, to my little baby Zoey. I mourn the loss for their family. I cry because my heart aches for a Mama who just lost her little baby. I cry for a Grandmama who just lost a grandchild and for an Aunt who just lost a nephew. I cry for a little sister who just lost her baby brother and probably can’t fully understand the extent of the situation.

Last night around 5 AM Zoey’s Angel Care baby monitor went off (a baby monitor that monitors breathing). I have NEVER jumped up out of bed and ran as fast as I did last night. I was scared to DEATH. I got into Zoey’s room and her leg was hanging out of her crib.. I tucked her leg back in and straightened her up.. Checked her breathing.. Kissed her and stood there for a few minutes to make sure her breathing was normal. This was the first “false alarm” with this baby monitor that we’ve had in maybe 4 months. GREAT timing, let me tell you. It took me a long time to fall asleep after that because my mind was racing and I was laying in bed crying, thinking of poor Max and just hoping there would be a miracle and he would make it through this.

Tonight I am giving my little girl a thousand more kisses than usual. I’ll hold her a little tighter. I’ll think of Max and try to make sense of this whole thing.

Tongue Smile